just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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