so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
