tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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