Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
