Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
