I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
