I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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