Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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