Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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