She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
