Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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