It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
