Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
