Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he shaved USA in his pubs
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
