It's Friday. Sex?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
