dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize