would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
