i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
