bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
