So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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