They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
