she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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