My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
