He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
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