as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
