Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It's never too late to be topless.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
