I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
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the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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