she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize