filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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