then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We have started to decorate penises.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
