Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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