I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
