i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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