been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize