You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
