his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
