using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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