So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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