I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
