Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
