I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
