Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
