I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
well you can't waste a boner
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
