Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You have to summon your inner elephant
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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