So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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