i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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