get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
