Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
