**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I smell like Dick and happiness
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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