I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It was like getting head from an anaconda
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
