i was born a porn star she said
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
