Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
