im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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