he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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