i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
