No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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