so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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