Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
