Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
