its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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