Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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