I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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