Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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