I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize