So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize