Dual....:-)
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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