I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
