Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
