Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
