im having a threesome with these popsicles
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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