Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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