5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
