I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
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