Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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