with your own penis?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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