and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
whose parrot is this?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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