you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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