Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
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